I grew up in a complex family dynamic and faced different barriers – dysfunction, poverty, violence, neglect, food insecurity, among others. My brothers and I did not have consistent, caring, trustworthy, positive adult mentors who showed us they cared about us, listened to us, valued our ideas, and recognized our strengths and potential. We did not attend programs, activities, lessons, nor classes outside of school, and we were often alone and unsupervised. As we know is common, I adopted high-risk behaviors – it was all I knew and I had no access to intervention.
I started smoking cigarettes in grade 7, started skipping school and drinking alcohol and using other substances in grade 8, and eventually dropped out of school in grade 9. I worked full-time to help my family pay rent and bills, moved out to live on my own and worked in construction at 17, and discovered I was pregnant at 18. I knew I was at risk of settling into a dangerously comfortable and familiar perpetually self-defeating pattern of thought and behavior.
When I was 18, I gave birth to my daughter, and I decided I wanted to be a positive role model for her. I seized the opportunity to pursue a high school diploma while I was eligible to receive maternity benefits.
That’s when I was nominated for In The Lead. For the first time, I had caring adults who saw strengths in me—courage, resilience, and even vulnerability. Those words, written on sticky notes during an ITL activity, still guide me today.
In The Lead changed how I saw myself. I learned I have a gift for facilitating discussion and for public speaking. I gained confidence to share my story, to speak in public, and to see myself as a role model. I became unafraid to take on challenges and step into the unknown, unmapped territories of my life with confidence that I could make it. It helped me shift from seeing life as something that just happens to me, to seeing life as something that I show up to, intentionally with expectation and determination to do my best.
In The Lead made a way for me, cleared a path through the bramble of life from surviving day to day and not dreaming beyond making it to pay day and scrambling to buy diapers, to planning a future for myself, pursuing a calling to fulfill a purpose in life. Those lessons carried me through one of my hardest challenges—brain surgery after a tumor diagnosis in 2024. Recovery has been tough, but I leaned on what ITL gave me: resilience, adaptability, and hope.
In The Lead prepared me for opportunities and even gave me the agency to seek them out and cultivate opportunities for myself where none existed. Today, I’m finishing a university degree, raising my daughter to believe in herself, and striving to give back. In The Lead didn’t just change my life—it changed my daughter’s future too.
– Coral Wales, In the Lead Alumni (2014)
